Hey guys! Kate here, back with part three of my singles week series! I hope you’ve enjoyed the run as much as I have. Please share anything you liked and feel free to give me feedback in the comments! I would love to hear from you, and I do respond to ALL of them. So, without further adieu, here is the answer to the question absolutely none of you have asked . . . why I’ve chosen to date myself!
Singularity has become a bit of a death sentence in today’s world. Declaring yourself single is like announcing to the world that you have cancer; you’re met with lots of sympathy, advice, and how can we make you better? inquisitions. It has turned into an epidemic that makes individuals feel less than perfect for taking some time for themselves.
Personally, I feel there is something very wrong with this condition. While it is perfectly okay to strive for a happy relationship in life, there is absolutely positively NO NEED to rush to that finish line. Quite frankly, all of these pressures that society place on single people almost force them to settle for less than they need and deserve, and I don’t think that is okay. No person should feel worthless, or flawed, or anything less than their best simply because they haven’t found the right person yet!
Many of you know that I underwent a messy break up, back in February. The truth of the matter is that what had started off as a support system that was beneficial for both of us, became a controlling situation that was sucking the self-confidence right out of me. It’s not his fault. I became too comfortable depending on him for everything that I withdrew from activities that I loved, and lost myself completely in the process. It happened, and it’s okay. I’ve forgiven myself for it and learned from it.
But what wasn’t okay, was that I let myself buy into the relationship mentality. I let myself believe that without him by my side, I was somehow less of a person; I was not worth the care and support that he had sustained me, and I now needed to provide for myself. So I struggled, and desperately sought male attention and dating to try to make myself feel like I had purpose. I ignored completely, the fact that I had no idea who I was anymore, and thus didn’t have a clue what I truly needed to feel complete again. I neglected myself, and the emptiness became larger.
Do you know what my problem was? I allowed my self worth to be in the hands of other people! I determined how much value I possessed by the reactions and responses of the people I sought blindly. What I truly needed, in order to feel whole and find a purpose for breathing again, was to get to know myself again. And that, my friends, is a journey that must be taken alone – well, with careful support from friends and loved ones.
This is why I’ve decided to change my relationship status, from single . . . to dating myself. The truth is, it is impossible for you to truly and healthfully love another person until you learn to love yourself. I mean, how do you know what you need in a life partner, until you understand your own strengths and forthcomings? Please, take the time to get to know yourself. Find out what makes YOU happy, what inspires you to be better, and what your purpose is. WITHOUT a S.O. by your side.